i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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