it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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