you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
