Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
