Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize