she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
