Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
