I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
