One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.