You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often