Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
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My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.