He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
