Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
