yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
