just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
