What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Acid is not a monday night drug
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
