His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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