By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
