i think i have two assholes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize