you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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