What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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