Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
