Welp...herpes.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
