You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
