Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
