he shaved USA in his pubs
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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