I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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