u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
