i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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