speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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