Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
