Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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