Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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