I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
