we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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