I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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