Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
