Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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