dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
