i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
