what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
