Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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