What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
