dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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