you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
