SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
