so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
