i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
