video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
