i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
