Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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