Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
