I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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