I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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