i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize