i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
