I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
