I showed him my bush... on skype.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
