After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
