Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
