But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
