but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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