Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Please, let me fuck your mom
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
