So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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